" STRUCTURAL DAMAGE "

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Fortunately for me, .....  I am up, out of bed and slightly functioning

by: Kat ( Mary) Carlson  _ Author/Publisher


I don't know how many people read my blogs on a daily basis.  Last night,  yes, it was me and I did put out that message about  GOD,  I was more than miffed.  Haven't had a time like that in "years".  I got to the "heart" of how I was feeling,  and really only until just moments ago, did
I sort of "come-to-terms"  with what I needed to express "for the moment".  It was a v-e-r-y 
l-o--n-g night.  Panic,  nerves, jangling, no rest,  "my back" went out.  The "pain" was excruciating.  And there's a great deal MORE to this story about the severity of it all. 

A few weeks ago,  right up over my head,  came this message " there's structural damage",
isn't there ?  Well, now,  I was sure I "heard wrong",  even tho,  it was quite clear and concise.
As it turns out,  that structural damage is exactly what it meant and I was right in the middle of
it being "adjusted",  in the fixins' of such construction.  My low back,  is so very painful.  To top it off,  there is lots of nerve damage in my brain,  that runs throughout my body.   That would be legs,  feet,  head,  neck,  etc.   As the upset in my brain came about,  "nerves" were disturbed and were sending "odd" messages,  clearly meant to confuse and panic.   Everything I knew to say or do,  did not work.  But I did try this,  I learned this one thing and wrote about it  in http://lilymakesmesmile.com  ( Wordpress.com)   I start using nonsensical phrases,  anything that comes to mind ,  I mean off-the-top-of-your-head type stuff,  like for me it was "Braxton Hicks",
Cornwall Jackson and Skip-a-beat, & a whole host of stuff that makes no sense or reference to what is going on presently.  believe me,   confusing the brain then , is exactly what it needs because it's stressed out then.  It's something that works anytime you are stressed.

Some of the stuff that I repeated was hilarious.   Anyway,  it keeps you from having to try and deal with something impossible for you to try and deal with when " NOTHING WORKS".  I went bananas and really got way out there in space.  But that is how it works.  Then the very next thing I tried really did help.  I cupped my hands together and made a kind of conduit.  I found that the 
best and MOST HELPFUL,  and did settle my nervous energy.  

Now, though,  when I go to the bathroom, bend over to reach for something (which seems like always)  ,  I "scream" in PAIN.  I think I mentioned that I don't take drugs or medicine,  I just don't.  My decision.  So,  I am learning how to deal with "pain"  these days.  

Structural damage !  I  really thought I had the whole "healed thing" in the bag.  Guess not,
But one of  the approaches I took last night was to rebel and go against "tradition".  I "felt" a little better doing that.  

It may take a while for me to be back in the picture taking game.

 

 

 

 

   

Tomorrow,  have a blast,  and drive safely.


(_A Wink & a Smile_).............................................................................:) 

GOD IS DEAD

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                                  WHO ?

JOY IN THE MORNING

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It's Labor Day weekend,  so I labor not !! ( ha )

by: Kat ( Mary ) Carlson _  author/publisher


Days,  mornings,  even future days are often enhanced by the "morning constitutional",....a "WALK" in these parts of our "beautiful" community  of Ojai Valley,    first off,   when you lend a listening ear,  the sounds are spectacular,  roosters crowing,   birds singing,  even the trees make a sound,  the hills seem to give off there own special wonder, (which can be translated as a sound),   the woodpeckers hard very hard at work ( see pic), lots of them.    I even hear the trees singing,  well, .....I do !  Maybe that's just "happy" me.   Happy to  be out and about.  in the "crest" of the morning .  

Here in this picture I took this morning, is one different example of the auras I find to enjoy

 

 

 

 

But the sights of sunrise on the mountains,  and the silhouettes of trees just before the sun peaks,
I am mesmerized and in awe of  the"teaming beauty" of  "LIFE" as  portrayed always in our Ojai gorgeous mornings.  All of LIFE is waking up,   ( well,  some are still snoozing, .... late night,  ya know?),  but when you have the chance and want to really experience something of JOY and WONDER,  this will knock- your- socks- off !  Do, please, stop,  look & listen !

Rice Road,  up higher above where I live in the river bottom,  I turn right and head back,  down the hill to delicious "casa de Kat"

 

I often pass this house on my walks,  I'm pretty sure these folks are still sleeping

 

I guess most folks are still sleeping on Saturday morning  and  it's a "holiday"  today.   But the couple you see below are braving the "beautiful" morning and vistas 

These early risers are enjoying their walk and told me that by the time they return home it will have been 6 miles..... Y-a-a-a-y !!

More Ojaians plus our animal friend (pooch) taking a stroll.....:)

The roads/streets of this amorous valley  "beckons" me and others to open our "hearts" ( physical & spiritual)  and "minds" to all that "IS" available in the course of real "Life" .

Look at ALL those holes,  these five woodpeckers are busy bees,  ( another sound of "LIFE" )

 

 

 I'd like to invite you to our neck-of-the-woods ,   for a  "joyful"  morning stroll.

"Happy Holiday".....

(_ A Wink & a Smile_) ..............................................................................:)

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HE IS A "MAN " _ # 2

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A "LUCKY "MOM

by: Kat ( Mary ) Carlson  _  author/publisher


I' so proud to write this blog/post this morning.  Maybe it is personal,  but the story is absolutely worth telling.  My oldest son,  is 52 years old.   From the beginning,  at 2 1/2 years old,  this
fabulous "creature" displayed courage.  Courage because he was not afraid of authority.   At this tender age,   I asked him for a favor,   seemingly small one to me and it definitely was a small one. I was changing his younger brother's diaper,  and didn't have a clean one to put on him,  so,  I said,  would you please go get me a clean diaper on the kitchen table.   He said  "NO".   Re soundly,  and absolutely "NO".    I lost it !    I went "bonkers !  ( Now, mind you I found that I had issues at that moment.)  This story is phenomenal,  because,  it has taken both of us,  50 years to find a wonderful  "Love"  for each other.


The timing could not be more "perfect".  We have both been lost ,  but "looking" at ourselves
for ourselves .  Of course we have charted our own course,  but have now,   found our own " individual strength".  


Once I kicked him out of the house,  he had nothing except the clothes on his back.  He had gone off to college out of high school,  a bright young man,  ( physics major).  Down in San Diego,
at school,  he got caught up in culinary ideas as to what "heals" us.   So,  he converted to vegetarianism.  That became his direction.   But school ( college) got totally lost as a " priority "    and actually,  it  ( vegetarianism) WAS a primary concern because " HE" really needed "healing" inside,  desperately.    Our confrontation when he flatly refused to help me at the age of 2 1/2 was "ugly".


My son spent " years" on the streets,  found ways to take care of himself,  and came back to me after  many,  many years to help take care of me.  Then I had "trials"  issues too.  I fell,  broke my hip and was off to stay and recover in a "Nursing home & later Assisted Living Facilities"   But LIFE was "still" very,  very "painful for "both" us.  We did have the good sense to realize that it was an individual walk,  this LIFE.
  

Long story short,  NOW,   HE  &  I,   are at  fabulous,  glorious  "PEACE"  with ourselves and naturally & thankfully  with each other.   Right before,  he left for college ,  this time ( at 52 yrs.),
we played "Scrabble"  every night for a week.   He came home for a very short visit,  two nights ago,  & yes, we did play  "Scrabble" once again.   Here's where I  "proclaim" that "HE" is a MAN.  Before he left the next morning,  he put his arms around me and loved me "gently "and "warmly".   His "heart" is so tender and sweet.   He "loves" all Life.   He brought me a cute little frog a few weeks ago,  barely an inch in diameter.   It was cupped in his sweet hands and he said,  _  " Mom where can I put him,  so he can be in moisture" ? _ ( The weather was monstrously hot).     How I "loved" being a part of that "BEAUTIFUL" moment  !!!!


 I'm so "happy" that we have come to terms with our own "selves",  and can be whole together and apart.  It's "never" too late !!!!


Interesting note here,  is the title " it's quite prevalent in this world  " for "man"( hu-mans) to "feel the need to DOMINATE" (control) !   Not a surprise,  I'm sure.   Too bad that many feel so threatened,  that that is their only recourse.  The relationship between man & woman ( & our own selves) will and can be "healed"  with  "loving Hearts".   A real sense of our own individual "identities " .  First separately,  and then  "Together".   It's the "only" way, "RESPECT" and  "UNCONDITIONAL LOVE" can come about.   

Some say LOVE,  it is a flower ........

Well,  it just  "IS",  ...... that's all !!   "IT'S  POWERFUL "


_( A Wink & a Smile_) .....................................................................................:)  

HOME FOR CHRISTMAS

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TO ALL PEOPLE "EVERYWHERE",   have a "safe"  Labor Day holiday weekend !

Time and again when out on my walk-a-day walk,  I discover a story and here is the one I found this morning

         Kat ( Mary) Carlson  _ author/publisher



          A picture is worth a thousand words................ below

I'm hoping you will remember this picture of Claire,  "Cutie"  ( her own horse), and her close friend

          Now a close up of "Cutie" ........... Claire' s horse of 12 years...

"  Cutie"

The above pictures were taken in August,  2015.  I posted a blog entitled  _"On Holiday_ from Massachusetts ", _ all about these two  Claire and "Cutie".   Today,  as I approached the top of Rice Rd.  as luck would have it,   I happened upon Claire's mom,  Becky,  riding,  would you believe,   none other than "Cutie".  I couldn't believe it.    Of course when I asked the horse's name,  Becky,  ( Claire's mom)  said,  " Cutie",   I knew then it was "THE" Cutie in my post about Claire,  home for a visit.

Yep,  the one and only "Cutie" and now I have the privilege of  meeting Claire's mom ,  Becky !

Becky explained to me that on Claire's 11th birthday,  she received "Cutie" and that Cutie was 11 years old.  Claire and Cutie as you may recall,  are separated through the school year due to college.  And for Claire that means clear across the country in Massachusetts.  Surely they miss each other.  But as you can see,  Becky is giving Cutie lots of love & exercise.  Fortunate for both,  that all is well on the home front.  Good luck studying " Fine Arts" ,  Claire.   Maybe you will be home for Christmas,  ?  

Greetings from Ojai, CA ........ Happy "Labor Day" weekend !

(_ A Wink & a Smile_) .............................................................................:)

" SILENCE "

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*Ojai Valley,  is a place where you CAN experience this phenomenon, however,  you are going to "hear" other sounds,

 

 

the sounds of nature.  Spectacular,   soothing,   healing "beyond belief" and "spell bounding".
I'm a "sucker" for "richness".   And guess what,  it's "free" !  9/2/2015 update



by: Kat (Mary) Carlson _ author/publisher



Real silence doesn't exist,  I know,  but we can come close as we quiet our thoughts.  That's NOT easy,  at least, not for me.  However, I am able to do this from time to time.  In fact often,  I turn off everything, laptop, phone. music ( no TV here), and become ( what I call)  "SILENT" !  Immediately,  ( not always), i "hear" the "sound of silence",  and I am pleased with it. 


I have a little stuffed toy ( doggie),  named "RIP".   From time to time, I carry on a conversation with this adorable little fella,  (don't laugh...:)),  it's true.  I remember the time I "heard" these words coming from his direction,  and what I heard WAS " SILENCE IS GOLDEN".   Hearing that caused me to respond this way,  " then, I'll never be rich,  because I like to talk" !  Well, not too long after I heard those WORDS, I grew into a place that allows me to quiet my thoughts and yes, indeed,  it IS a place I have come to "appreciate and love".  People, it's "MAGIC" !!  I kid you not.  "SILENCE IS GOLDEN" .............it's absolutely "TRUE" !


Getting there doesn't always work for me,  (just wanted to let you know),  but it IS one-of-those-things,  I "definitely" cherish, & keep doing.  The results are "unbelievable" !!  I'd LOVE for you to get accustomed to this kind of experience.  You may already go there.  "FANTASTIC"  This I know for sure,  "you'll NEVER be sorry",  NEVER !!  A word of caution,  remember sometimes for whatever reason, it doesn't happen,  but it WILL.  Keep trying, and the trick is often, "trying to quiet yourself", is the problem,  letting go "HELPS" !!!!

I am leaving you this morning with a picture I love and one so often seen in these parts !!

Ah yes,  right about now,  I can "HEAR" a rooster crowing,  a familiar sound to those of us who have the privilege of living in this VALLEY !  That's the beginning of other "rich" sounds of awakening.  Morning has broken.  When I can,  I go out for my walk early.  The pigeons, crows,
and turkeys,  oh yes, those turkeys just love to speak "turkey-speak"........:)  The goats like to Ba-a-a!


May your day be,  everything you want it to be...............( and maybe even "QUIET" & "RICH" !!)


(_A Wink & a Smile_)..........................................................................:)

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Coming soon _ http://katfishing.net  * 9/2/2015

WHO HUNG "THIS" MOON ??

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It's 7:00 a.m. ,  look closely at the bird in top of the tree (middle)

by: Kat ( Mary ) Carlson  _  author/publisher


Headed down to the horse stables on Meyer,  I spotted this lovely moon.  Of course,  we have been having a "beautiful" full moon these last few nights.  My entire back yard was bright and grand. 
Then of course so was the inside of my house.  I "love" mood-lighting" anyway.  Up high in the tree in the middle of this picture there sits a bird.  I tried to zoom in so we could see him.


Then after seeing Red and Vicki at the stables,  I climbed this hill, 

By now,  everyone knows that this hill is my daily challenge, & most often after reaching the top

 

The top of my hill,  I either turn left on Fairview or right on upper Rice Rd. and continue trekking

 Maybe one of these days,  you can join me,  I'd love some company.  As you can tell though,  I do 
engage with people of all sorts,  people jogging,  walking their dogs  ( oh, yes,  many of them)

Like Fred for instance and his master .......

Jaimie and her two dogs

 We all get to meet & greet often and each other adieu.  Her dogs are so patient.  Jaimie is expecting a new arrival to her family,  a baby.

A very familiar scene on a regular basis,  joggers here and there

 

This bicyclist was "happy" to have his picture taken ( Libbey Park)

Who hung this moon ?  (first picture )..... you decide !

Probably the same one who produces " ROSES" ...........:)

 

and MORE _

(_ A Wink & a Smile_) ......................................................................................................:)