Fortunately for me, ..... I am up, out of bed and slightly functioning |
by: Kat ( Mary) Carlson _ Author/Publisher
I don't know how many people read my blogs on a daily basis. Last night, yes, it was me and I did put out that message about GOD, I was more than miffed. Haven't had a time like that in "years". I got to the "heart" of how I was feeling, and really only until just moments ago, did
I sort of "come-to-terms" with what I needed to express "for the moment". It was a v-e-r-y
l-o--n-g night. Panic, nerves, jangling, no rest, "my back" went out. The "pain" was excruciating. And there's a great deal MORE to this story about the severity of it all.
A few weeks ago, right up over my head, came this message " there's structural damage",
isn't there ? Well, now, I was sure I "heard wrong", even tho, it was quite clear and concise.
As it turns out, that structural damage is exactly what it meant and I was right in the middle of
it being "adjusted", in the fixins' of such construction. My low back, is so very painful. To top it off, there is lots of nerve damage in my brain, that runs throughout my body. That would be legs, feet, head, neck, etc. As the upset in my brain came about, "nerves" were disturbed and were sending "odd" messages, clearly meant to confuse and panic. Everything I knew to say or do, did not work. But I did try this, I learned this one thing and wrote about it in http://lilymakesmesmile.com ( Wordpress.com) I start using nonsensical phrases, anything that comes to mind , I mean off-the-top-of-your-head type stuff, like for me it was "Braxton Hicks",
Cornwall Jackson and Skip-a-beat, & a whole host of stuff that makes no sense or reference to what is going on presently. believe me, confusing the brain then , is exactly what it needs because it's stressed out then. It's something that works anytime you are stressed.
Some of the stuff that I repeated was hilarious. Anyway, it keeps you from having to try and deal with something impossible for you to try and deal with when " NOTHING WORKS". I went bananas and really got way out there in space. But that is how it works. Then the very next thing I tried really did help. I cupped my hands together and made a kind of conduit. I found that the
best and MOST HELPFUL, and did settle my nervous energy.
Now, though, when I go to the bathroom, bend over to reach for something (which seems like always) , I "scream" in PAIN. I think I mentioned that I don't take drugs or medicine, I just don't. My decision. So, I am learning how to deal with "pain" these days.
Structural damage ! I really thought I had the whole "healed thing" in the bag. Guess not,
But one of the approaches I took last night was to rebel and go against "tradition". I "felt" a little better doing that.
It may take a while for me to be back in the picture taking game. |
Tomorrow, have a blast, and drive safely.
(_A Wink & a Smile_).............................................................................:)